more old stuff

something I wrote like 50 million years ago.... I thought it was cute... like, high school type of love letters.... :) I've always been a hopeless romantic.

The perfect compliment:

What is the most perfect compliment you could give me?
You could tell me I'm beautiful or that I am smart,
that you admire every piece of me, every single part!
You could whisper sweet nothings in my ear to make me feel grand
You could just look deep in my eyes and tell me how much you love me while you hold my hand
But don't try too hard, for I don't think you will be able to find
Another compliment to outdo one you have already given me, that sweet compliment of mine
The compliment that I am speaking of, no one else can reproduce
Because, the greatest compliment to me ~ is you.

Back in the days when I was young....

So, I was going through some of my old emails and stumbled upon this folder that I created for myself. I wrote letters to myself quite often, detailing the events in my life...an online "email journal" if you will. It was brief, but informative. It's so crazy to look back at my writing back then and to see how far I've come from where I've been. The things I was going through and how I learned to cope - it's pretty inspiring thinking about it now - I've come a long way, even though it really doesn't feel like it - I still have yet so far to go. Anywho - I was actually more surprised at how much "poetry" (if I really want to call it that) that i wrote back then too - I mean, it wasn't on some Maya Angelou shit - it was really rhymie chimie stuff... but, it's just so weird. I feel so different and detached from who I was back then, but - when I look back, in essence, I was the exact same Yvonne - it's just the circumstances that I was in and certain decisions that I made that made me perceive myself as different. Deep down in the core, in my personal thoughts, in my hopes, dreams, fears... in the stuff that really makes someone who they are - my character, my heart, my soul.... it's always been the same - I've always been me - I'm just starting to find myself and know myself now... man.. life is so crazy - I love how I can learn from myself just from reading my writing - definitely inspired me to write to myself more often now - and to explore my artsy side - whatever may be there - even if it is the rhymie chimey stuff - it's me :)

Hey Momma...

I still miss her everyday...
It still hurts...
But, it is getting better - I think... I don't know.

I had a dream about her the other day
She was so beautiful... :)
we hugged, we cried, we resolved a bit...
it was like her spirit came back just to let me know that it was going to be okay.
It felt so real, I hope she knows how much I love her... how much she means to me
how much she will always mean to me -
even if I couldn't tell her that before she left this world.
I hope she knows, where ever her soul is right now - I hope she knows..

I love you momma.

Friendly Letter

Best Friend,

I miss you. Things just aren't the same without you here. Yes, i know that with time, things will get better and maybe some things will be just as they were before - but right now, I miss you - and I'm okay with that.

I'm so glad that we have been able to make so many wonderful memories together, and hope that we can continue to build on our memory album. I'm thankful and grateful for the awkward, hurtful, and painful memories too - they highlight the good ones and are a sign of our growth.

I know that you'll never leave my thoughts, prayers, and memories, but I pray that you never leave my life.

Your friendship has meant the world to me, and your love is unsurpassed. In the years that I've known you, my heart has shed it's skin and continues to grow. You've shown me the best of your soul, and I have displayed mine to you as well.

Where ever our lives decide to take us, I know we will both be happy and joyful because our souls are. Even if we are not physically together, our souls will soar together, lifting each other higher, towards our goals - guiding and lighting the way. We will protect each other - forever, I'm sure.

Our hearts have watched the other grow, and bleed, and love - that is the best gift that life can ever give anyone. At this very moment, I feel so very lucky. I don't hope that you feel the same way, because my heart tells me you do, my soul feels it; and it is happy because of it.

I love the beauty that exudes from your spirit and often wish that your spirit was the sun and that I could bathe in it - letting it kiss my skin and warm my body right to my soul. I can only thank you for all that you are for me, and to me - and offer to you the same from me. I love you so very much. Thank you my loving friend.

From my soul to yours.

Fighting my fears

As the end of the semester nears, I fear what I've always feared every since my adult life: Idleness. It seems that with each passing year idleness seems to scare me even more. It's such a catch 22 with me. I want things to do, so I fill my schedule up to the brim, and then I'm stressed out and complain. I've yet to find an even medium.

More often than not, I'm filing up my time to help me NOT think about issues that I know are bothering me or affecting me...this needs to stop.

Honestly, I'm tired of being told by people close to me that I have a brick up - that I'm a great emotional actress - because the honest to God truth is that I want so much to be honest about my feelings and emotions - my most inner ones. But, I'm so afraid of being vulnerable, and being hurt. I'm afraid of being seen as less of a strong person - of being judged for my choices and decisions in life - and probably even more - afraid to admit that sometimes, I have no idea about me and my life and how I'm supposed to feel.

Sometimes I feel so unbreakable, so confident in my life, goals, ambitions, etc. - and other times, I wonder.....
I know this is normal, but it feels terrifying every time. I like stability, but so much of my life is unstable right now - and I'm off balance because of it. It's harder to fight battles when you're not grounded in something... I just feel like my footing is kind of off right now.

A little bit about me...

I'm Carl Rogers, Julia Roberts, and Williams Shakespear all wrapped up in one! - lol,

I was bored and did a personality profile while in class - I think the results are pretty accurate =) (Take the Quiz Yourself!)

Personality Type Report

INTROVERT:
While you may not be anti-social, you do need (and deserve) your private time and space to retreat from the world. Unlike extroverts, you need to develop a concept of the world or some aspect of it before experiencing it. Too much socializing may sap your energies. Your energies are derived from exploring the inner world of ideas, impressions and pure thought.

INTUITIVE:
While you do process information through your senses you add a twist to your processing by relying on intuition and serendipity. You look for undercurrents of meaning and abstractions in what you experience physically. You do not just see things just as they are, but as what they could be. While you may rely on common sense at times, you trust inspiration far more.

PERCEIVING:
You like to have as much information as possible before making a decision. Putting off a final decision until the last moment does not make you uncomfortable. Indeed once a decision is made, a course plotted, you may feel a bit uneasy, because you feel bound to a certain course of action. You would much prefer to wait and see what happens. You enjoy the opportunity to improvise. Commitments are not etched in stone to you, and are changeable.

FEELING:
You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type Introvert/Intuitive/Feeling/Perceiving

You are devoted and compassionate. You have a well-developed distaste for rules, orders and schedules. You are a natural born learner and can get so absorbed in your projects that you forget those around you. You are passionate about your beliefs and love ideals. You have very high standards for yourself. You are very creative, sensitive, reserved, and introspective. You respect the values of others and expect them to respect yours.

In relationships you are loyal and totally committed. You prefer a few deep relationships over a horde of acquaintances. Because you are somewhat reserved, you do best in one on one and small group situations. When you feel comfortable, you can be very entertaining and capricious. You are nurturing and supportive by nature. You greatest social challenge is to balance your need to withdraw into your inner-world with your need to keep a strong connection with those you care for. .

Famous People of Your Type:
Homer, Virgil, Mary, mother of Jesus, St. John, St. Luke, William Shakespeare, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, A. A. Milne, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Helen Keller, Carl Rogers, Fred Rogers, Dick Clark, Donna Reed, Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis, Neil Diamond, Tom Brokaw, James Herriot, Annie Dillard, James Taylor, Julia Roberts, Scott Bakula, John F. Kennedy, Jr.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:
Actor, architect, artist, composer, editor, translator, journalist, librarian, musician, occupational therapist, psychotherapist, educator, researcher, scientist, and writer. <-------- I've wished I was all of those at one point in my life!!! (minus the occupational therapist and architect lol)

block

I want to write, but I can't. I'll just wait for inspiration....

Inspiration...please come forth and present yourself! I know you're there - I can feel you inside of me - just wanting to come out - please come out and help me bring some warmth or contentment into my life - I feel so cold and unsettled at his moment... I need you to wrap yourself around me, inspiration. I need you to whisper words of wisdom and innuendos to me - I need to feel comforted by you so that my words and thoughts flow freely through you - like water falling freely through the air forming a beautiful waterfall, or raindrops....like when I first found you and couldn't stop talking!
Oh inspiration... I need you right now... I need to feel you vibrating in my heart, my body - like the vibrations of my father's walk when he was coming to tuck me in for bed - familiar - soothing... I need you right now.
I need you to bring sound to my voice, I need you to bring my thoughts and words alive, as if they were being played on the keys of a piano - I need you to make me wanna sing....

I need you inspiration... I need you to help take this burden off of my mind, off my soul. I need your help to carry this weight off of me and help disperse it into the universe... I need you to help me feel light - like laying out in the sun all day... free, glowing, full of life, ready for the next adventure that will conjure up more inspiration...

Can you please show yourself inspiration... I'll be waiting patiently. =)

Above Anything Else

It's so wonderful that two beautiful creatures like us
could meet in this profoundly vast universe;
On this astonishingly amazing world.

Makes me feel honored to be chosen
to experience this feeling. Makes me feel,
hopeful about things to come;
Makes me want to give back,
give thanks to this world; this universe,
for allowing our particles to co-mingle.

There will be connections with other particles,
Perhaps. But none like this.
Uniqueness in everything is something, that
this universe will always provide.

I'll always crave this combination though,
this recipe, created by this universe.
Made with genuine emotions, laughter,
tears, honesty, intimacy, sharing -
and above anything else, Love.

Faith Part 2

okay, so this is the part that's hard for me....


I had faith (see my previous post), and despite my devotion to it, alas, it has failed me... what am I to do now? restore my faith in... in what? Is that the rule? If you put all your eggs in one basket and it falls over, then pick up what's salvageable and find something else to put your eggs in? Sooner or later you'll run out of eggs, or storage places - neither of which sounds good.



I'm tired of believing.. I'm tired of hoping, I'm tired of wanting..... I'm tired of faith! I don't know what it wants from me. It wants my soul - it wants me to give it everything - and it leaves me here empty - that is.. after it's taken my hopes, my dreams, even the security that I had in my fears, - after it takes it all, and just leaves me here... to fill up with hope again? Are you serious? I just can't do it anymore.


I'm tired of looking for faith - I've lost it -and I don't want to find it anymore. I'm just so tired..
I feel as though the universe is slowly pulling energy out of me through my eyes in the form of tears.... crying is so exhausting. My eyes are swollen, they are red from stress and frustration. My eyes hurt, my heart hurts, my soul aches.... The only cure I have for this pain is to close my eyes... so I sleep, I sleep, I daydream, I keep my eyes closed for as long as I can to somehow alleviate the pain my eyes are causing me. I can't stop the tears... every waking hour is a battle between my mind, my throat, and those damn eyes.... My mind telling my throat, if you tense up long enough... you can stop the tears.. and my eyes laugh crookedly, telling my mind - this has nothing to do with you. I'm tired of fighting. I just want to relax, but I can't see clearly through these tears... and I'm so afraid, so lost.
I need to find my way again. Somehow I've stumbled onto this rainy street that looks so familiar, somehow I'd forgotten it was raining and didn't think to bring my umbrella. Never forget your umbrella.

Faith, please take pity on me. Maybe I'm wrong about what I want, but please show me the way - I can't take this anymore - it's too much, I'm not as strong as you've tried to build me up to be. I need your help right now, and you've abandoned me. (I feel like a faith-fiend, goodness) I just want to be me again...


Perhaps it's not faith that I'm having a gripe with, perhaps it's love, Perhaps its the realization that even if you want and believe in something so much - oh wait - no that sounds like faith, okay. It's time for me to stop feeding faith my eggs - it's time for me to learn to cook them myself.

Lessons in the Rain

I will now try to make this my “reflection” time –

It’s so strange, people say that you learn something new everyday, but, there are some days where you learn something that you already knew, but may have somehow forgotten. It’s usually the things that are most important to you as a being – these things that we continue to learn over again; these themes in our lives, must be recurrent, I’m assuming (I use the word assuming because I’m ‘only’ 26, and unfortunately, true wisdom comes with true old age). These instances when you have a day and you reflect on what you’ve learned and you come to the realization that you are in that same spot in your mind … that spot that you just knew was filled already – it’s a scary and sobering experience…

It’s a constant reminder that we can never stop searching, or living for what we want – for what we believe, for what we know in our hearts to be moral and valuable to us. Too many times we let our circumstances, whatever they may be, cast fog onto our path – and when the fog settles, it’s a brand new path, and blinded – we continue on this precipitated path, wet with all the traps and tests that we have already past – but, now, they look new.. and we feel a sense of accomplishment while we tread through this new found snow, sleet and hell – and when we get to the sunny part – when we finally see our path again – we realize that it was there all along – we had just forgotten to bring our umbrellas –

We have to shield ourselves from taking that detour – from walking backwards on our path – by creating an umbrella of learned lessons – our own personal web of truths, that we KNOW to be true for us- because we’ve crossed that bridge, because we have seen it already – because we have ‘been there’ and have vowed never to go back… willingly or not – we have to be stronger in our umbrella that we call our mind … we must shield against the rainy days of our lives…

But – aren’t the rainy days when people actually get a chance to think about them? – touché…

Dreams about My Mom

Everything reverts back to her- no matter what it is –if something really good happens – I think of her – if something really crappy goes wrong and I feel like shit – I think of her – I dream of her….
While in the train station waiting for this train to Rome after we missed our morning one, and after a mild spat, I tried to get some rest –I was hungry, cranky and tired ----- I dreamt of her again - I dreamt of her last night too… Last night I dreamt that I was at the Serenader and she was there, behind the bar – with her big smile and gap in her teeth =) just as charismatic as I remember her. Not feeble and stripped of her dignity and pride as I remember in her last few days… No one seemed to remember that she had passed – or rather, no one seemed it weird that she was there even though she had passed – people greeted her “we missed you Kim!” – I walked in and she smiled as if she knew what I was thinking… I couldn’t speak to her… I asked around – “what’s going on here?” - that’s really all I can remember – but, again in my dream I am disappointed in myself for not taking the opportunity to talk with her one last time….
In this dream- in the train station… I was at a family members house, it was me, my dad and Kim… and she walked in the door – her face was the same – not like before she passed –but like herself…. But she was short, really short –even shorter than Ba’Ngoai. She walked with a cane and she walked slowly. Despite that, she still had her glow and air of charisma that she carried with her everywhere…. And of course she still had her feisty fighting spirit – or at least I could feel it – I was sitting next to Kim on the couch, which was next to the door –Kim looked at her and greeted her like this was normal –my dad chimed in “Hey Kim!” , she looked at me and I still could not speak to her – tears started welding up in my eyes, I said to Kim - “but Mom’s dead” – Kim responded to me “ so, she’s right here now. What’s wrong?”.. didn’t have an answer – and as I tried to study this image of my mother and perhaps work up the courage to say something, it was too late – she was walking toward the back of the home, completely oblivious to anything happening in the front of the home – and I was left perplexed and empty – I awoke at that moment.
I think this dream disturbed me the most because out of all the dreams –this is the only one that she appeared in a way that I have never seen her in real life before – I usually picture her how she was right before she passed – or have snapshots of moments that happened while she was sick - or, my better dreams – when she was free of cancer – or at least cancer hadn’t gotten the best of her yet; But this dream was different – I saw her as a image of a feeble old woman, with a young woman’s face and spirit… and even in this distorted image, I could not work up the nerve to speak – even in my dreams.
Maybe one time I will speak with her, and she will tell me that she is okay – or I don’t know – maybe it will make me feel better. Maybe I will confront the issue I have with not really asking all the questions I wanted to before she passed – or not saying all I wanted to say – or doing all I wanted to do…
Almost a year later I am still feeling feelings as if she had passed last week. It’s so funny how resilient I seemed when it first happened – how sure of myself that I had prepared for her passing, and that it wouldn’t be that hard because we all knew she was sick and it wasn’t all of a sudden. How foolish of me. But, honestly, I don’t know if reacting differently at the time would have made a big difference on how I feel now.
I don’t know how to not let these feelings control me sometimes – and I hate feeling like I don’t have control over my emotions, or thoughts – perhaps that’s why these dreams disturb me so – I think maybe writing about it may be a good step – I haven’t been able to write about her since … well – I haven’t been able to write honestly about her death since it happened and even before it happened – I just hope that these feelings are getting stronger because it will be a year since it happened soon – and that I will eventually be able to think about her, or times that we’ve spent together, without completely breaking down inside – without feeling as if I say anything that I will completely fall apart. I hope that I will be able to talk to her to Aamayah without fear of scaring her half to death because I can’t stop crying, or because I’m so sad. I just want to be able to accept it and move on – it’s so hard. And what makes it even harder is to know that I will eventually have to go through this again with someone else with whom I deeply care for and love. There is no way to prepare – there is no way to know how it will effect you – even years later – It is a humbling and frightening experience – it takes you out of yourself…. And sometimes that’s not always a good thing.

Faith - what it means to me.

From http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/faith:

1 a: allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1): fidelity to one's promises (2): sincerity of intentions
2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust
3: something that is believed especially with strong conviction ; especially : a system of religious beliefs faith

So, what the fuck does this mean anyway? I mean, we all know what "He acted in good faith" means... but that's not the type of faith that I'm talking about - I'm talking about the faith that makes the statement "I have faith that he will act in good faith."
Seriously, about 2 years ago, I wouldn't even begin to waste my time contemplating over what faith was... It was just something religious people said to look more "religious" in front of us other "common" folk.... but, in these past years, I've come to realize how faith can be an important part of life and growth - perhaps, or maybe, what I've come to realize is - that I want to explore faith and what it means in life and how it all connects to everything or how it connects everyone.. I want to know more - and coming from a place that I've been - that's amazing.


I'm not sure that I completely understand it, or that I ever really will - but I guess that's the whole premise of the thing... believing in something, that you're not sure of, or believing in something that can't be proven or verified, or promised, or predicted... just knowing that things will workout, no matter what - faith. What things work out to be is a completely different story - but the belief that things will - goodness - it's amazing.



It doesn't sound amazing.. like - just believing? I mean, anyone can do that right? So what's the big difference? I don't know... and that's what i'm trying to find out - it's a daunting task... but, it is most rewarding. I think that I'm taking the right steps, I mean, in order to fully believe something, a piece of you - even if it's tiny, must want to believe in it.... and, I'm guessing the next part is to believe in your belief.. if that makes any sense at all - that is the step that I'm on right now - which for me poses an almost impossible task - I barely believe in myself, and the things that I do now that are tangible - how the heck am I supposed to trust my ideas, my beliefs that the ideal that I have for something in the future will happen and be just because it's the "right thing" to happen. I mean - I guess with faith comes patience... Look at the Hebrews... but despite it all - they had faith - and they overcame...



I know I have faith - I can feel it - I tell my boyfriend all the time that I have faith in us - and this is the first time that I've ever felt this way... and I can't really describe it - so, is what I'm feeling really faith, or just a really strong hope - or is there even a difference? I'm sure there are many times when people have faith in things and in the end - their faith just wasn't enough - what then? do you then turn and blame it on destiny, or fate, or something like that? Or do you blame the person and say "well - your faith must not have been strong enough".. or do you just chalk it up as mis-guided faith - if there is even such a thing... when this happens, can we just say that it was just a really strong hope, and not faith?



I think my fear is that in believing in faith so much, I will be completely immersed in it and be devastated if my faith proved to be "wrong". It's so hard to believe in today's world, it's so hard to even live. I'm afraid that if I believe in faith as much as I believe in love - I may be hurt doubly as bad when one or two of the things don't go the way I want - I mean, how can you have faith in something that you don't love? You need that intensity of love, admiration, devotion... to even fathom the thought of "having faith" in it - I mean, you can believe it - but do you have faith? ---



well - this was just a big ramble with no big conclusion or bang - but, that's whats going on in my head so... I'll keep my faith search updated.. am sure it will change as I do - as does the world. anywho... that's all I have to say about that. for now.. :)

While you wait... 25 Random Things

Okay- so this was originally supposed to be a facebook post.. but I couldn't think of 25 random things about me (I am so uninspiring sometimes)... anywho... so, now that I've finally got the list down, the whole facebook thing is over - so I figured I would post it on my blog to help me get out of this writing (or lack there of) rut that I'm in.. hopefully it works... I have about 7 "drafts" that I've been working on over the last month - but just haven't been able to lock down a thought, emotion, position, whatever.. anywho... I feel it coming.. just hold on to your screens and be prepared! :)

In the meantime, please enjoy these intermissions:

___________________ 25 random things about Yvonne, By Yvonne _______________

1. Contrary to popular belief, I’m really not happy, smiling and excited all the time (but most of the time :0) ).

2. I live at least 10 other lives hypothetically in my mind everyday

3. I believe that love is the purpose of life…or at least part of it somewhere

4. I’ve actually pictured two old wrinkled people having sex

5. I don’t really like watermelon or grape/purple drinks.

6. I’m a social wallflower, until picked, and then I just completely bloom.

7. I secretly wish I was a writer.

8. My aunt and uncle had to stop taking me to the video store with them because I would run off to the “adult” section and gleefully yell “Boobies” at the top of my lungs… thank goodness I yelled in Vietnamese! Lol.

9. I come up with my best ideas and thoughts while driving.

10. This list just made me realized that I’m not as funny as I thought I was

11. I have a freakish pen fetish… I love them!!!

12. I’ve gotten through most of my life with these words “eh, I don’t care, you choose”

13. If I get really excited I make this rumbly, throaty growl. (surprisingly, this is not sexual in nature)

14. Filmore slim and Dru down have been to my bar more than once.

15. I blurt out song quotes in the most inappropriate situations – all the time.

16. I hate nails scratching on a chalk board... that would be the perfect form of torture for me.

17. Sometimes I feel like an old person trapped in a young persons body.

18. Sometimes I feel like a kid trapped in an adults life.

19. I used to eat taco bell's mild taco sauce packets and drink water on my way home from school.

20. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. ( I know, generic...but random)

21. I like country music (there, I've finally admitted it...)

22. I can't stand drippy faucets or anything that makes little noises like a ticking alarm clock or something.

23. My tummy itches when I drink alcohol.

24. My toenail on my right big toe got pulled off by a door when I was 6. (it's grown back.. don't be too grossed out)

25. I still doodle the name of the person I love with hearts and stars next to them. (yes, I know... I'm working on growing up.)

more random stuff

some random stuff I wrote a couple months ago....

AUTUMN

it seems as if im going to start to dread the fall. But how can I dread a season that I love so much? death...abandonment... well, i guess, fall is the season of death.

I wonder what that says about me - or the people who choose autumn as one of their favorite seasons? I mean, autumn represents not death itself, as does winter, but rather, the most grueling part of the life cycle... the point right before death... the deteriation. We watch plants die and rebirth themselves each year. So, in theory are humans just another fruit of the earth, like the plants... here only for a certain amount of time, only to be recycled.. I guess that's what the birth process is all about.


------- later the same night,.. 2/20/09--------------

i love that we are constantly reminded about how very different and unique each and everyone of us.




------------------------------ the next day --------------

i dont know what to write...
I just know that I feel, I feel so much.......
everything.... everyday.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sat and listened....

We Are......

FAMILY! - Thanks Diana and the Supremes! :)


Okay – so, I’m supposed to be writing about family in this post… I’m not really feeling that poetic these days so, it’s just a splatter of my random thoughts on the subject, separated, somewhat, by paragraphs… here goes:

Now, I know that I’m a sucker for love and that I love anything that has to do with love. I believe that almost anything can be made possible with love. But, I can say that although Love may be one of the most important things – Family is neck and neck with it….. I mean, when you think about it – we learn to love from our families. Our families – whom ever they may be (I’ll touch on that later) are the first ones to show us how to love, how to treat others, and basically how to live.

I don’t think anyone would argue that family is important – but I think that people fail to realize the magnitude or the extreme importance of family. I have always known how significant family is, but until working in my position now, I can’t say that I understood the true meaning of the term.
At work I go see an average of 4 families a day – in their homes, in their private lives. It’s amazing. I’m lucky enough to enter 4 different worlds each day – 4 different lives of these mothers, 4 different stories. And while one family may be well to do, and the next families lights are getting shut off, and another family is just so obnoxious that I can’t stand them – they all have one thing in common – their family comes first above everything else. Aside from their living conditions and the everyday stressors of life, they all strive to make their family the best family that it can be.
Now, I’m going to get a little technical – just a little. So, technically – in order for a family to be a family – there has to be children – I mean – two people are just a couple, you’re not a family until you two have a little one. That should stress the importance of the word right there – I mean, how important is it to be shaping someone’s life – to be the “go to” man (or woman) in this persons life –to be what your mother, or father, or caregiver was to you – gosh, it just means so much. How can that NOT be important to someone? How can that NOT be something that you try your hardest at? This is why family is so powerful – It starts from nothing, and it grows. Family grows together – from the beginning into forever. It’s a guaranteed forever…It’s destiny – some may argue. Families help mold each other and shape each other and create bonds from so young that you can’t strip those connections away – they are embedded in you like the markings you might find on a grain of rice. – no way to break free – family is in our blood.

Families provide that safe place – they provide structure in a world that is otherwise viewed as chaotic. If you think about it – family is almost essential to survival. Even those who don’t have or can’t identify with a ‘biological’ family create families early on with individuals with whom they are close to… I mean, gangs were created with the whole notion of family – people crave closeness, we desire to feel loved – and who will love you if your family hasn’t taught you to love – showed you how to love?
Sometimes families are all that people have left, many times families are the reason that many people keep pushing, keep living, keep learning – In my profession – sometimes family is the one thing that determines success or failure – life or death.

No matter who is in your family or what type of family it is – you are above all else – Family. You are bonded in a way that no other person or group of people can bond with you – These bonds are full of frustration, and anger sometimes yes – but, more importantly, they are full of shared experiences, shared emotions, shared dreams.

Obama and Michelle have started doing a great job of bringing the dream of “family” back into the individualistic American society – I only hope that the image, the hope, and the love of family touches everyone enough to keep family number 1.