Where's my soul mate? I deserve so much... I know I do. I'm a good woman, with a good soul, and a huge heart.... Too big for me to even know what to do with it... Too big for me to even realize that using it too much, or rather, lending it out to those in need, is killing me slowly... Slowing the rhythm and changing the beat to something I've never even heard before...
I miss so much about life. I feel like I'm just fading away. My soul is so weak right now and I'm fighting hard everyday to strengthen it. Friend, soul mate, teacher, angel... Whoever, where ever or whatever you are.. I really need you to help me right now.
I've spent so much of my life trying to help others understand and know themselves because I knew the feeling of void within myself growing up. I've maneuvered through so many obstacles in my life with such ease, I swear I started to think I might just be a super hero. I guess it all catches up to you somehow.... I always thought by now I'd have that person who I could and would share everything with. Everything I've carried with me... All my joys, all my tears, all my failures and disappointments - everything that makes me who I am. And that they would love me, just as I was, and we would both share each others joys and struggles as if they were our own... Like a sophisticated Bonnie and Clyde.
I miss so much about life. I feel like I'm just fading away. My soul is so weak right now and I'm fighting hard everyday to strengthen it. Friend, soul mate, teacher, angel... Whoever, where ever or whatever you are.. I really need you to help me right now.
I've spent so much of my life trying to help others understand and know themselves because I knew the feeling of void within myself growing up. I've maneuvered through so many obstacles in my life with such ease, I swear I started to think I might just be a super hero. I guess it all catches up to you somehow.... I always thought by now I'd have that person who I could and would share everything with. Everything I've carried with me... All my joys, all my tears, all my failures and disappointments - everything that makes me who I am. And that they would love me, just as I was, and we would both share each others joys and struggles as if they were our own... Like a sophisticated Bonnie and Clyde.
I guess all things in time. I love myself, and I love my daughter... And I know she loves me... And that's enough to keep my heart pumping 1000 years over... It just gets really hard feeling like you're going at it alone sometimes. Times like these I respect my mother so much more. She didn't get her Clyde either.... But us kids all Damn sure loved her with all of our hearts...
Mom: I'm sorry you had such a hard start and finish to your life. You lived, worked, and loved so hard... I love you, and I miss you everyday. The older Aamayah gets, the more I realize how hard it must have been for you to only see me as much as you did. I always knew that you were working hard for me and my brothers and sisters. If i could, as your daughter, take any portion of that away I would... The funny part about that though is... I think we did take some of that away :) by just us being there. Thank you momma, for letting us be your hero's, bc you Damn sure are one of mines... I wish you were here.. But then again, I know you never left.
---emo rant, but I'm not sorry---
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